I have a question for the guys about dating as an adult?

It seems that the guys ask right away, what you want in a man, what you are looking for, and they fish around for where you see your life with them and what kind of connection you feel with them. They shower you with compliments and seem really into you right away. I don't like to open up for a few weeks at least, this person is still a stanger to me, and so I brush these questions off and act like 'whatever is meant to be' kind of thing.. even if I am really into them and think 'wow, this could be him'... I am not going to just announce that because he asks before I know him better. Also when you do tell him that you could be serious with him.. then he seems to panic even though that is what he wants to hear... So my question is this: Do you see dates like an interview where the girl is disqualified if she doesn't open up right away (within first 2 dates)?Or do any of you with 'long term' in mind, just go out and learn from 'just being' ourselves Am I misunderstanding something?

Public Comments

1. You are reading to much into it, just be yourself, if they don't like that then they were never meant to be the one in the first place.
2. I do look at dates as an interview I mean you have to. I understand you when you say that you don't want to open all the way up besides some of the questions that he has asked I would wait a while to ask you. But you also have to look at it this way if he's asking you these questions then I'm sure that he's interested in getting to know more and more about you. Don't shut totally down on him but if he asks something that you are not comfortable with then ask him to answer the same question and then fli it and ask him hte questions about his intentions. But don't be cruel to him or anything just let him know that you are not comfortable with answering the qestion yet.
3. Well, when my husband and I started dating, I wasn't sure what exactly he was looking for the first couple of dates we had. His birthday was shortly after we met (maybe 3 weeks) and I took him out to a kick-azz meal and got him a small present. That impressed him to the point that HE opened up about wanting a real relationship. We took a really nice walk that night and discovered that we had canceled weddings planned on the same weekend. It just felt so natural. Never felt rushed in any way shape or form.
4. open up whenever you want. it takes me a long long time. as a guy, most girls give up on me too quick. everyone is into fast or move on. any wonder why the divorce rate will soon top 50%? I don't want to go through the stuff you talk about anymore...that's why i am trying to get back my ex gf. good luck to you and I like how you brush off the pushers. don't be pushed into opening up if not ready.
5. i cant answer all your questions because i don't know the guy you are talking about, but i do have a useful link that i am sure you will find very helpful. the guy who sponsors the website is named David Deangelo. the website addresses issues exactly as you are having , and also has a link to ask questions. it is www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com. I think you will find it very informative.
6. Its good to take things slow and if he is a gentlemen he well respect not rushing in. And be careful of the question "what are you looking for in a man" because some guys well play the part to get what they want. And guys who don't like girls who don't open up right away are looking for easy girls. And a guy who panics when its time to get serious are wimps.
7. As an adult we learn that the only way you get to know a person is to get them to open up and communicate. You may see giving a vague answer to a guys question as being reserved because you want to take your time in getting to know him. An adult man would see it as you either are not interested in getting to know him or you have a very cold personality. Most adults like to get a few cards on the table so that they know whether or not they are wasting their time continuing to date or they see some potential in having a pleasant time with this individual if they see them again. Let me ask you, if a man went out with you and didn't give you more than one word answers(yes or no) all night to any of your questions would you want to go out with him again? You date to have fun. You ask questions to find out if you have very much in common. If you don't know whether you have much in common how could you say you would enjoy dating someone?
8. Dating and getting to know someone is a process of breaking down barriers. You like to take a few weeks to open up to a man? Or are you just afraid of losing the relationship before it starts? Or are you just enjoying someone treating you like a little queen even though you have no intention of having a long relationship with him or giving him much of a chance. Holding back gives you the escape of saying "Well, he wasn't the one." Course he's not the one, you never gave him a chance to be. Of course he seems really in to you. He wants to spread his genes with you.
9. The guys who want to get into your pants see it as an interview... The gentlemen who have a genuine interest will take the time to get to know you by spending time with you and talking about matters that matter. To also be honest with you, not one set of red flags disqualifieds a girl....every person is different, and carries with them a past set of experiences that will lead them on the life they chose to follow. The question is, do YOU want what you see? and Is the guy worth another look? On the same token, keep it REAL, practice humility. So many times I see girls that think they are all that and a bag of chips...They love themselves too much. A guy that is looking for a good relationship will see this and walk. The guy looking for a good relationship will look to see if a girl is too high maintenance, selfish (princess), self absorbed, caring more for her nails getting done than sleeping in and watching TV or talking......