If only we had the answers.......?

1- If you don't talk to strangers, how do you meet anyone 2- Why is abbreviation such a long word ? 3- Why do we say "funny as hell"? What's so funny down there? 4- Why is it called a TV set when you only get one? 5- When you weigh fish, do you include the scales? 6- Why does bottled water have an expiration date? 7- If Snickers really satisfies, why do they make a king size bar? 8- Why do we call it a one-night stand when we spend it lying down? 9- Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery 10- Why do black tires produce white smoke ? 11- If 24 hr. stores are open al the time, why are locks on the doors? 12- Can fat people go skinny-dipping? 13- How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead? 14- If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 15- If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? 16- You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? 17- Are funerals held in the daytime because we can't have mourning at night? 18- What colour does a smurf turn when you choke it? 19- Why don't we bless people when they cough or fart? 20- Why is it when your computer freezes, people keep on pushing more and more buttons? 21- Isn't it cruel for "lisp" to have an "s"? 22- Why do teachers need answer books? 23- Why do we say "forever and ever"? Is forever not long enough? 24- If you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant...what do you do? 25- Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, and when you transport it by ship, it's called a cargo? 26- Who do you suppose was the first person to think - "That cow over there has those thing'ies hanging down. I'll pull on 'em and drink whatever comes out" 27- Why does your nose run, and your feet smell? 28- Who do you suppose was the first person to look at a chicken and say - "I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes out that chickens ass.." 29- Where does the white go when snow melts? 30- Do blind people have dreams? if they do, do they know what they are seeing? 31- If your eyes are round, why can you see out of the corners of them??? 32- Why is more than one goose called geese but more than one moose is not meese? 33- Why do those signs say, "In Case of Fire, Do Not Use Elevator"? 34- How would you put a fire out with an elevator? 35- Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Public Comments

1. Why is panties plural and brassiere singular?
2. Good ones! #3 is my favorite.
3. You missed one. :) "Why do we drive in parkways, and park in driveways?"
4. lol that is sooo funny where did u get them i wanna hear more
5. those are very good thanks
6. brilliant list. I enjoyed those thanks.
7. Great observations hehehehe
8. he he he, some good ones there, makes you think